Mr Meeseeks SPECIAL EDITION of unintelligible (no sign of) intelligence leak(s) ANYWHERE!

Welcome to Ablivia…

On 26/10/19 8:32 am, Ashley Olsen wrote:

Sent from my iPhone


TO: Ashley.Olsen@[redacted].gov

RE: The ongoing problem with your face, tits & (very) fuckable everything.

Dear Miss Ashley Fuller (shit) Olsen,

RE: Immediate Australian economic sanctions have been imposed.

BAN: Anyone in possession of excess of $2 billion will be thrown off Manly Ferry, forced to swim to shore unassisted or sink like a gold medallist on too much steroids.

Followed by a 2 year prison sentence at Mawson Station Antarctica filing paperwork for Norfolk Island Telecom.


1. You have immediately lost your Australian phone number +614[redacted]

2 You are now officially considered to have stolen my iPhone [redacted] through fraud.

3. The police will probably not be called.

4. Go shut the front door and lock it so they can’t come in.

5. Your brunette model is one of the cover girls to

6. I’m thinking about a large sum of money to litigate you with.

7. I’m still gonna fuck you on your carpet until you’re pregnant.

8. You’re going to moan like a slut and love all 2 minutes of it.

9. See 8.

10 refer to 7-9 with due regard for 6.

11. Legs 11.

12. There is no 12, you read too far – go back to 7 (see 8)

You have a new invoice


An invoice has been processed through the DANIEL JEREMY SHARP account.  

Invoice: 99435XX
Total amount:

Need to change your payment method?

To view or change your payment method, log in to Telstra Apps Marketplace and select the ‘Billing’ tab to update your details.

Best regards,

The Telstra team

To: Ashley.Olsen@[redacted].gov

Final volley then the troops go over the top.

Love your Yandex block btw.

Fire in the whole (of foggy bottom) – it’s ok I’ll put it out …

Said the arsonist…

XxGchq XxAsis XxMarineNationale

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

From: Dad’s Army <[redacted]>
Date: 1 November 2019 at 6:45:36 pm AEDT
To: “Ashley Fuller Olsen” <ashley.olsen@[redacted].gov>
Subject:Fwd:  Att: Ashley Olsen. RE: Russia is not your enemy (what don’t you get about an artillery barrage) lol NYET DA (that’s my entire Russian so far – I resolve to better this!

Sent from Yandex.Mail for mobile

——– Beginning of forwarded message ——–
01.11.2019, 18:41, “Dad’s Army” <[redacted]>:
I appreciate your patience and respect.

I am an American loyalist, but Australia as you well know has at all times sought and in nearly every instrument been generously afforded distinguished grace and deference from Moscow.

Partnership is notable, our test of time and the way you literally stopped a no mans land war zone to allow the Australian Federal Police come and sift through the unfortunate accident of MH17 (Malaysian Airlines was being stupid, Kiev was I suspect painting it as a military aircraft to achieve the exact outcome)

I’m not an idiot. Nor are my American family.

My wifeHusband is just a very powerful self conscious controlling nutrition bar of a lover.

Please forgive my wifeHusband for his/her occasional five minutes to midnight indiscretions.

I on her/his behalf sanctimoniously unilaterally and without any indicted authority hereby assure you that the west will:

Respect Russia’s right to an Air Force and naval base in Syria in perpetuity.

Now turn a blind eye and let Erdogan wipe China double dealing backstabbing (the 07022018 massacre was planned by Assad in concert with China to increase tensions between a Moscow + Washington confrontation)

… so was Ukraine (to deny you your engines for your much needed new frigates)

Free advice: buy some Fremms. 

UK is in caretaker mode and I’m Sir Humphrey Applebee’s if anyone is asking.

Kind regards,

Daniel Sharp

(well known public sector pest)


Sent from Yandex.Mail for mobile

——– Beginning of forwarded message ——–
01.11.2019, 18:29, “Dad’s Army” <[redacted]>:
They’re basically religious alcoholics with a predisposition for pickles.

XxLibDemSharp @manlylabor @liberalsmanly @libsharp 

Sent from Yandex.Mail for mobile

——– End of forwarded message ——–

——– End of forwarded message ——–

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Check it out – now you’re just getting pissed.

Enjoy your South Carolina #MAGA rally.

Loving the leaks on Biden you’re getting from OBAMA btw

XxGchq xxSharp

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

From: Daniel Sharp <>
Date: 1 November 2019 at 6:22:19 pm AEDT
To: Ashley Olsen <[redacted]>
Subject:Fwd:  Miss Ashley Olsen, you are a cut(e) snake litany of incorrigible dissertation

You’re the worst kind of intellectual property thief! xx

Sent from my iPhone

Begin forwarded message:

From: Ashley Olsen <[redacted]>
Date: 1 November 2019 at 6:15:32 pm AEDT
Subject:Miss Ashley Olsen, I am a cut(e) snake litany of incorrigible dissertation

Here’s your date,

Sorry it’s not beautifully wrapped Mr Cut Lunch. Xx

80% of emails don’t get read – so put your insult in the heading where 80% do get read.

Or I’m playing number wang stylezzz

So, here’s what I wrote to you on Twitter unless it was the other GH Walker (Olsen) Bush’s funeral you sent 41 south to haunt me trumping me up to ask you out for an actual date.

Like, ahem. (Stares at Florist, buys flowers for her love interest: you)

Wishes you were famous and just your American girl next door that happened to be American like the blonde Maryland 16 year old I fell into bed with you as an 18 year old visiting Washington DC like you’re my far away backyard (note to ASIO – you really are. I am home in your home and you home in mine – bother the Queen for spare sugar at midnight for all I care. Because nothing will save the Governor-General’s beer supply.

Drink, be merry, Marty McFly across our lands at your casual pleasure, grab a shovel and mine us out of actual sand. Because I saved your countries two – our Ablivia belongs to me.

Ablivia you must know for sure is Britain and Australia mashed together as you so often are.

We are your wifeHusband and Husbandwife.

Together, we stand with our dearest ally France (Canada, New Zealand – also Ablivia btw).

What but enemies within can defeat our streets, imprison our children and rob our wealth?

Ask Mark @ZuckerbergCN – or just egg his house at regular intervals and reduce the crime for throwing eggs to $0.59 cents per egg thrown.

People will be more careful with their words knowing the charges for egging are about commensurate with the cost of the egg.

Anyway, speechwriters write shit speeches – and yours are the worst xx. I’m about as intelligent as a large onion on a Friday. Just after five years of being randomly smacked for six (a home run as we like to say Stateside – it’s ok I got ya honey biscuit face) I kinda worked out who the front door is kicking it in.

Enough, here – I got what you wrote to your model me on Twitter:

Note: you might (might) get a kiss & hand stuff, but I’m a long way north to be going down on you yet Missouri Sharp. Earn it and we might find a DC liquor bar where I can practice licking my gold bars on you for 37 seconds until you cum like a 18 year old freshman on our first date.

Pre-S: you don’t treat me right. X

And wtf is this ??? (this is confiscate keyboard o’clock!):

Look baby – I’m putting your flag on my lapels now ?? cos I’m your man and I’ll throw away the world ?? before I let my lady liberty ?? be harmed in any way ?? (I still got 31 minutes to call google lovely ?? cute cut lunch ??… Ashley your new birthday present ??- cos I’m courting you to marry me – not fucking you around or pussyfooting this baby girl and you know I know who you know I only have eyes for you – I don’t care ??‍♂️ if you were penniless pauper with leprechaun ?? syndrome – you’re the girl ?? I love ?? so easily and I see through your beautiful model ( who has a job as the head model of our new 53/33/7/7 venture – everyday you are in our Senate of our love 53 Senators, Lincoln Republicans are 7, Dylan Duck ?? Democrat’s 7, and very Liberal Democrats (yeah opposites attract) 33 Senators. You have a 300-135 majority in our House too so YOU ARE THE UNDISPUTED QUEEN OF OUR HOME – whether it’s this one or anywhere we live. I get a shed, to run to when the cutlery ?? gets an airing out of a Sunny ☀️ Sunday afternoon when I’m deliberately trying to ?? star in WORST HUSBAND OF THE DAY because… well isn’t it obvious @SeaEagles are playing! Pub, kiss ??, smack me in the head – I’ll take Dylan – you play Disney Princess ?? with Lincoln and (I reckon) Christiana ✝️ Aurora (your ‘homey town’) Olsen Sharp – Olsen is a second middle name we give to ALL our children ok? @AshleyPond @ashleyfuller7 – you can’t help but be the itemised night and day of my most amazing affectionate grace. Baby, I know how much you crave love. I craved it my whole life. My first marriage was love – of my children. You have looked at my data analytics- it’s a product of expectations of betrayal borne out by years of bracing for what I always knew to be an inevitability. Convincing myself that I wanted it was a JEDI MIND TRICK ON PENNY. It wigged her out – like “cheat baby, it gets me off” – read “fuck you you stupid shallow materialistic slut, have a giant big black cock that barely fits your pussy” cos she was always looking for the better deal, the money, the shiny little trinkets like a whore does. Might have fucked my own sexuality up in the process a little but I can’t tell you how hard it is holding a family together that you know is held only by your ability and means because the second I fell flat on my face in a world of intelligence games so much above my pay grade I cannot describe the fear. Like one day – I put together a porn folder and saved messages on the files – it was BBC porn. No one got the implications of my messages. They were too busy staring at big black cocks with pretty sluts riding all over them to realise the number 5 at the end of the folder ?? name. It was … BBC 5 (International News Serviceman). Baby, I’m not a child or smitten to distraction to be out of my senses unaware of your connections and how you find me hidden in a haystack (but not too crash yet with Ubuntu or Yandex) – you ask as much of me as you should expect, but I let you down with equal deference of statehood. Because I am Australian, born and raised. My English, Welsh, Scottish (and yes) Irish ☘️ blood courses through my Anglo Celtic veins. My adoration and deference of loyalty in face of all obstacles without qualifying statements stands for only fourother states – New Zealand ???? Canada ???? France ???? and your United States ???? . And there are four allies that together we owe a duty to protect and uphold as independent states free to act in their own intellectual ability- Japan ???? South Korea ???? India ???? Taiwan ????. One ally who you need to find accord with that I will in no enthusiasm ever raise my hand in anger to – Russia ????. And Europe is our colonial style territory that has gotten a bit out of our control. So let’s slowly use the One China ???? policy against Beijing to locate all our Chinese (save for lemmings work to keep them distracted – literally screw them – send them lots and lots of things to screw together of no economic value in remote plausibility – screw rakes, bikes, gates, lawn mowers, prefabricated housing, little McHappy meal toys ??, Disney Aladdins, Winnie the Pooh, Peppa Pig, Sesame Street Dracula’s, Roger Ramjet figurines, Bert and the thing upstairs, Tintin in Tibet – fuck it let’s start a Tintin in Tibet Tour company and have as the logo the Tibetan flag and get the Dalai Lama’s endorsement because… I can, I won’t need to tap on too many shoulders to reach the prime minister in exile of Tibet my darling because they know I am standing strong for them, their freedom and liberty ?? is equally my cause – as in South Africa ????, Kenya ????, Pakistan ????, Ukraine ????, Libya ???? (where my forefathers fell at El Alamein) … EVERYWHERE! BabyLawrence I’m not happy until all politicians stop putting their considerable thoughtfulness opposition in jail like befell my fate – total of seven months jail for speaking freely as a member of the free press in a notionally free country. Baby Ashley mini twin ciara call me later you know where I am – not chasing more telling you your socks on @AshleyPond tribute to @GHWBushChina sent 41 to the feet of your power – your very base, the foundation that Pax Americana relies on above every single nation on earth ?? bar only one – the United Kingdom ????. With France ???? forever at your side unless senses and windows have come into interlocking fate (sorry Mr 42.5 Iraq ???? was an emotional mistake that I would have erred against but Saddam Hussein didn’t try to murder my dad so I get it – the IRA took a hit out on my dad in UK, it’s why we moved suddenly and disorderly like to Sydney. It’s why he never wanted for a job or a decent paycheque, and it’s why we are besieged daily in unending universality of distraction. Because we are God’s Montague + Capulet Union between property and labour, between working class and wealth, between English knights and Welsh Royalty, between Romeo and Juliet. My mum and dad never even remotely get on – and not will we my dear litany of tragedy. We are going to be in love for a certain potentiality though. Don’t believe me, believe what you read in your CIARA email ??. It’s written by you ?? ?? ?? ☕️ ?? ?? ?? ?? xxxxx – love, your Australian Mr right side of wrongdoing. ?? @ashleyocean – you’re a cut ?? ?? SNAKE

PS: Liverpool sucks. Go Chelsea and Cardiff City and pray never the two shall meet!

Ashley Olsen (if you like the name Sharp I will buy you a diamond ring – or just rob Ariana Grande’s favourite company @Tescomobile for enough to get you feeling like I don’t need to send you gift cards like I’m anywhere close to where I’m going to be given a little time with a foot not on my throat trying to throttle me to death.

I am emigrating, I am coming towards you.

But you need freedom too.

You an me
Me an you


Sent from your Australian iPhone
(Hope you like your presence – I do)

Newsletter du jeudi 31 octobre 2019

Interview de Mélanie Sevegrand, DRH de Bureau Veritas France
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Les enjeux stratégiques d’un “onboarding” réussi. Par Stéphanie Ruchaud
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To: Ashley.Olsen@[redacted].gov

We are the 47%

33% me (so you can never impeach me)
7% Dylan
7% Lincoln

So you control the House obviously with let’s say 300 majority to keep you happy.

53 Republican Senators
7 Lincoln Republicans
7 Dylan Duck Democrats
33 Sharpy LibDems 

So if I can keep my caucus in line (highly unlikely - seeing the Lincoln Republicans are gonna vote with neo-mummy every time)

I get filibuster proof minority.

Imagine who we’re going to elect as our President?

Obama Or Bush?


You know you HAVE to back Bush @ashelyadam6 (or someone called Ashely Olsen with a Bush Fannie Mae forward address in Lincoln, Nebraska is taking me for an ALL AMERICAN RIDE)

So I’m backing the Southside babyLawrence.

Voting starts tomorrow morning at noon xx

Daniel (not very) Sharpy 

Sent from my iPhone
Stop Brexit.
Build a brighter future.
Daniel, for too many people things aren’t working as they should be.

Working hard and playing by the rules aren’t enough to guarantee a happy, fulfilling and secure life for them and their children.

The Conservatives and Labour can’t fix this.

They are stuck in the past and have failed time and time again to deliver a better future.

Only the Liberal Democrats can build a brighter future.

That’s why we’re launching our General Election slogan today.

We have an ambitious plan for the future of our country, where every person, every community and our planet can thrive. Are you with us? Yes, I am ➜
Daniel, I am ambitious for Britain’s future and with your help, we can stop Brexit and deliver a brighter future.     Best wishes,

Jo Swinson
Liberal Democrats PS: The next few weeks will see us send quite a few emails about our country’s future. You can choose the kind of emails you get from us over the next five weeks here: PS: The next few weeks will see us send quite a few emails about our country’s future. You can choose the kind of emails you get from us over the next five weeks here: Help us build a brighter future. The two old parties have failed Britain.
The Liberal Democrats are fighting to stop Brexit and build a brighter future for Britain.

Play your part. Find out how you can help us win: I’m in ➜
Did you like this email? Yes ?? – No ?? This email was sent to Daniel Sharp at Need to update your details? Click here. You’re receiving this email because you have signed up for Liberal Democrat emails. Want to change the kind of email you’re getting? Update your email preferences Don’t want to get our emails anymore? Click here to unsubscribe. Published and promoted by Mike Dixon on behalf of the Liberal Democrats, 8-10 Great George Street, London, SW1P 3AE.

i miss you so much and i have been thinking about you all day ??????

ashley kisses xx

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Daniel, this is it. On 12th December, Britain will go to the polls to elect a new Government.

This is our chance to stop Brexit and save our country’s future. Donate now and help do that: Quick donate ➜
We’ve hit the ground running. Over the last two months we’ve knocked on hundreds of thousands of doors, delivered millions of leaflets and letters and run the largest online campaign of any political party. We’re the fastest growing political party in the country.

We have real momentum. And we need to keep it up. This is your chance to stop Brexit and deliver a brighter future for Britain. Please, donate £25 or whatever you can afford today: Quick donate £25 ➜
With your help Daniel we’re to take our positive, liberal pro-European vision to the country at this election.

We’re going to stand up for our country’s future. And when the votes have all been cast, we’re going to elect more Liberal Democrat MPs and get to work building a brighter future.

That’s our goal and we don’t have any time to waste so please, Daniel, donate today and help get our campaign off to a flying start. Quick donate £25 ➜
Thank you,


Jo Swinson
Liberal Democrats

PS: The next few weeks will see us send quite a few emails about our country’s future. You can choose the kind of emails you get from us over the next five weeks here: Did you like this email? Yes ?? – No ?? This email was sent to Daniel Sharp at Need to update your details? Click here. You’re receiving this email because you have signed up for Liberal Democrat emails. Want to change the kind of email you’re getting? Update your email preferences Don’t want to get our emails anymore? Click here to unsubscribe. Published and promoted by Mike Dixon on behalf of the Liberal Democrats, 8-10 Great George Street, London, SW1P 3AE.
My very blonde girlfriend can’t stop raving about 28th October like it’s her birthday.

I think my dark haired blonde haired lady of the night is an Ashley Olsen cute snake of an Americanised mad mademoiselle!

- sign USA up at

You’re already forty thousands of Australian dollars under the sea in uninitiated intellectual property rights litigation!

- Daniel “Storm” Sharp
Janitor, IAC
CEO, Ocean Zion’s (Pond)  media [yeah hadn’t picked up that one yet had ya]

PO BOX 353 Freshwater NSW 2096 Australia 

[we gave you everything and …]

… … ..: … _ -_ … Sent from my iPhone

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