Réal Intelligence Services

Welcome to Tibetan Adult Services – because this shit ain’t fit for children.


And you thought I meant porn, follow Miss Tibet if you want free soft porn (which is all a real man needs to lose control of himself)

Here, step 101 – Episode 2882

Free Tibet, more like stop the murder of Tibet! That’s not a knife!

This is a Royal Navy worth a couple of fleets of Chinese pond scum – as my first promise as candidate for the northern beaches bin, grass cutting and lifeguard committees I hereby make my first policy commitments:

1. I will declare the northern beaches an independent country where all nations of the Commonwealth are equal citizens.

2. I will go and buy a shirtless photo with my favorite person – Miss Emma Watson.

3. I will spend everything in treasury trying to get Emma to come on a date and smoke a bunch of weed with me (weed is legal on my northern beaches – heroin, methamphetamine, mdma, ghb, benzoates, acid, lsd and ketamine will remain prohibited substances – cocaine is a once a month treat for you bunch of drug addicts that share this place with me

4. Haven’t you thrown me out of office yet? I’m going to give the entire Council away to our local Tibetan Community and rule like the Dalaï Lama – gently.

I promise you that London to a nifty Jack Falcolner of a brick that I can get more out of less, smash the square peg into the round hole and do what democracies do best – go to war against dictatorships until the snake is cut off from the head.

Do yourself a favour Chinois – buy yourself life insurance.

You need to kill my whole family, my family.

Do you really want to throw down with a Smith, Evans, Davies, Lockton, Potts, Costello, Owen, Wentworth, Knox, Sharp and (doesn’t understand yet but needed and into) the…

Satanic Mills? Shit Cin Pinjdix you are outta store credit. Sick make on your Facebook account cut snake.

Chinois – peux-t-on

If elected to the Mayoralty of the Northern Beaches – our Northern Beaches – the land of my £10 pound poms. I will promise the Aunty Sis One China Policy:

We won’t stop until there is one policy on China – we’ll let my campaign spokesman Mr Meeseeks fill you in on the details:

Like this I like like a passion.